Motivation! (4 stage Healing Process)

After building a relationship for years, suddenly the situation becomes uncontrollable and ultimately the relationship must end..! Feeling hurt, Surely … The world seems to collapse, Yes … Life feels ended, Perhaps … But don’t despair, time will heal everything.

According to Barbara De Angelis, author of The 100 Most Asked Questions About Love, Sex, and Relationship, there are four stages of the healing process that you have to go through.

Phase 1: Feeling torn
Time: 2 Weeks – 4 Month

At this stage, you may be crying all day, feeling lost, helpless, lonely, loss of appetite, and even feels pain in chest that seems never subsides. This stage is the most difficult time of breakup. You feel the pain will never end. Well, the good news is you are wrong, you will go through it well, even faster. Just do these following things:

- Just cry … don’t bury your sadness, because the longer you internalize it, the longer the pain will end and stay in your heart.
- Make a hectic schedule of activities. Get busy yourself and spend time with friends and family.
- Exercise and eat regularly, keep your body health. When your body fit, in psychologically you will be more stable.
- Avoid seeing or talking to your ex-boyfriend. No matter how much you want to call and hear his voice, don’t do it! The more you meet him, the longer the healing process will last.

Phase 2: Adjustment
Time: 2-6 Months

At this stage, you will be able to talk and think about your ex without feeling hurt and anger. You can think clearly. You no longer feel as a victim and not cry too often or feeling sad anymore. Even if you still cry, the frequency has begun to decrease. You will only be sad when suddenly hearing a memory song between you and him.

You begin to rediscover an independent personality. You can have fun again and find the joy as a single. You could even begin to pay attention to another man who seems interesting. You also can judge clearly what was wrong in your relationship before. Maybe in the end, you feel lucky to escape from the love that blinds your eyes.

Phase 3: Healing
Time: 6 Months – 1 Year

Life has begun to normal again. You’ve been through the transition period. In this phase, you may have opened up and engaged in a new relationship. Even if you haven’t made a new relationship, there’s already a desire to start a new relationship. The problem with the former also has been completed well.
In this stage, the pain has faded. You can take lessons from the last experience. You feel better, even more optimistic about the future. Occasional the memory about the former may be coming. However, it no longer makes you sad.

Phase 4: Recovery
Time: 1 -2 Years

At this stage, you have 100% cleared of a broken heart virus. You have been steadily looking to the better future. You now have a new social environment, new friends, and new love. Yes, you’re ready to love and be loved again. People will no longer ask about your last relationship. The old love story could become a valuable lesson to build a new relationship.

.:: It's been 4 years we've been together... i wish i can be strong enough to MOVE ON ! ::.

I'm only human

(Day 18)

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one

I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

I can do it.............  I'll get through it

I can take so much.......... 'Til I've had enough :(

That feeling.

Dear Diary,

Life as it is. Often i wonder why i am the chosen one to go through this phase. The kind of phase where you got to hold your breath and not to let go. The kind of feeling where you wanna scream but all you do is keep quiet.....

A test from Allah. The kind of test that I'm in now often confused me. I keep on wonder, what have i done to deserve this test? Why me.....????

Frankly, i don't want this test. I don't want it all. I don't need it. I've been dragged to. And I've no one to blame in the end but myself. I've open up a new book, a new chapter on my new perfect year and you know what, I've been tested since day 1. I'm still wondering why. At times, I feel that it's not fair for me.

But hey, life is never fair to everyone. Can i just turn back time and start all over again..?? since day 1 I've been tested so that i get the chance to protect myself? That's the thing, I CAN'T.

And I've been left here sitting and wondering, holding back.. being very calm hoping i am somewhere else but not here. Anywhere but here. Like in the picture, probably i should be there right now. Wandering alone. Watching every moves and laughters. Hearing the pure sound and noises. Of humans and things. Just sit there. Swollen. 

Wanting to heal badly and continue with the new chapter that I've planned before... I've been put to this test. This test is bearable but i don't need it. Im aware of the feeling but i don't know how to cut this off. It's silly. Its been playing with me and i wont let it win. Well.. Deal with it. Be patient. You just gotta be.

And smile. And love..............

Thank you Allah for this test. Thank you for letting me feel this way. The kind of feeling i never thought i would have. It's not the best feeling in the world but I'm still so glad that i could control it and yet manage to laugh and love. 

If this feeling is meant to stay for a while, i would swallow it slowly till its gone. I trust you, Allah. And i know i am not alone.

Love always.

Shasha Jalil

14May2010 - 09Mar2014.

There's no ME & YOU,

There's no US anymore.

Allah knows best. InsyaAllah.....